According to Ruth Anne Hammond, sensitive observation is "a way to understand what [children] are experiencing." Often, as parents, we make assumptions about what our children are thinking, feeling, or cuing when, in reality, we misread the situation or make an interpretation based on our experiences or hunches.
a brief historyThis type of observation came from the work of Emmi Pikler, a Hungarian pediatrician, who began an orphanage in Budapest, Hungary called Lóczy. According to Lilith Magazine, "A 1968 World Health Organization study found that children reared at Lóczy turned into well adjusted adults - a stunning outcome for children raised in orphanages." Based off countless scientific research, data, and success stories, this model of care began to spread worldwide. It spurred the work of various protege's like Madga Gerber, Janet Lansbury, and Ruth Anne Hammond. Additionally, it has been well accepted as a standard treatment of care in day care centers, parent education, and parenting practices across the globe. benefitsAccording to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (1998), there are numerous benefits to sensitive observation including:
what observation is and is notIn order to better understand your role as an observer, it is helpful to know what observation is and what it is not. Observation is...
beginningWhen you choose a moment to actively observe, take note of a few things:
In order to streamline your thoughts and stay within the bounds of sensitive observation, draw a line down the middle of your paper. On the left side, write OBSERVATION and on the left write WONDERINGS. Observation Your observations should be only what you see or hear in their exact form.
Wonderings Your wonderings are how you are staying engaged with the observation. This is the place where you can later, in reflection, match what you were considering with what you were noticing happen.
final notesRemember that sensitive observation is a way to foster your attachment so it should be done in a safe, meaningful way. If your child clearly needs you to attend, it is important you attend to them. This is simply a way that you can progress your parenting philosophy while deepening the connection between you and your child. It should be done at a time that feels appropriate and respectable to all people.
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In the previous weeks, we've talked about simplifying parenthood through simplifying the home and our mindset. With the message of simplification in mind, we embarked on a discussion this week about disciplining. We began by defining the purpose of discipline. Why do we do this in the first place? We discipline in order to teach our kids how to be functional members of society.Because I love reframing concepts through intentional language choice, I have created my pyramid of responding: If we aim to teach children, we are cognizant of the learning process. Parents who views themselves as educators will recognize that different moments, actions, and children call for different responses. Your model for teaching will evolve as you and your child evolve. Through that lens, we classified children's behavior and choices into 3 categories:
Yikes!This is the big category. Some behaviors that fell into this grouping were:
It's an Issue..."It's an Issue" things do not typically involve someone's safety whereas many of the 'yikes' actions do. These are often choices that parents feel are disrespectful or inappropriate. Some actions were:
Minor AnnoyanceMinor annoyances we could also call kids being kids. These are things that children do simply because they are children. They may certainly annoy us. They may certainly be inconvenient or, truly, childish. They may also infringe on the "it's an issue" category. However, they usually boil down to children living their childhood to the fullest. Some choices and actions in this category were:
Take AwaysOne of the hardest things to do is to separate yourself from your child. Sometimes, their choices or emotions create a reaction in us. That's OK. That is normal.But, as it so happens, I am in the business of believing people are capable of growth and change. We go through experiences with our families, friends, peers, and children. Then we learn. Then we reflect. Then we try again. We expect the same thing for our kids. Everyone (including our children) has bad days, sick days, tired days, clumsy days, great days, accomplishments, mistakes, set backs, and so on. Those are what make life exciting. So take a deep breath. You got this :) This week...You will inevitably come across teachable moments. So ask yourself before you react:
Last week, we discussed the first part of Danaye Barahona's Book, Simple, Happy Parenting. She is the founder of Simple Families, an online community dedicated to minimalism with families and lessening the parenting load. You can read more of her blogs and listen to her podcast here. Our discussion started with a time of reflection and mental map creation in which we drew out our floor plans and thought about the layout, the stress, and the stuff. We continued our discussion with a brainstorm of the benefits and challenges of home simplification. Benefits of Simplifying
Challenges of Simplifying
See my infographic of Danaye's tips for simplification hereThrough our discussion, we learned about various charities that will come to your home to pick up items. Our discussion also lead us to talking about simplifying the calendar (post to come) and getting outside regardless of weather. See my post here about how to dress babies and young ones for the outdoors. Some additional resources and books on getting outside regardless of weather: The photos below show how Scandinavian kids have been and continue to be outside in the cold. Four Reasons Children Should Get Outside in the Cold
Next time, we will continue with Simple, Happy Parenting and talk more about simplifying the parenting process. See you soon!
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Purpose Of ToysToday we talked about toys by examining their purpose through various lenses. We discussed the following questions: What is the purpose of toys through the lens of the child?
What is the purpose of toys through the lens of the Parent?
What is the purpose of toys through the lens of Society?
What is the purpose of toys through the lens of Toy Companies?
OPEN v CLOSED v STORY LEDOpen ended toys are ones that have nearly limitless ways to play with them, and they do not have a clearly defined goal or ending. The benefits of open ended toys are that they promote creativity, innovation, more language use (more prepositional language use), and independent play. Close ended toys are ones that have a clear end point, and the toy's intention or purpose are fairly clear. The benefit of close ended toys are that they promote focus, task-completion, accomplishment, and confidence. Story Led toys are a subset of open ended toys in that they usually look like open ended toys: a dollhouse/castle, doll, or car; however, they reflect prominent characters that are represented in young kid's media culture today. Story led toys do not have the same benefits as open ended play, but they do promote recalling memory, retelling a story, and story comprehension. Front Loaded & Back Loaded Gift ConsiderationsDanaye Barahona from Simple Families categorizes gifts as Front Loaded and Back Loaded. Front loaded gifts are ones that typically result in immediate excitement from the child. Your child is thrilled to have opened this gift. The benefit from this experience is that the child's joy is contagious, and we all feel a sense of awe and happiness. The drawback, however, is that these toys usually reflect current day interests, media influences, advertisement, or the toy that the neighbor has. These toys typically don't have longevity or sustainability. They are likely the toys that don't get touched in a few weeks or months. Back loaded gifts are ones that the child might not necessarily know how to play with right away. They may seem simple or not-enticing; however, they often are the toys that have the most limitless possibilities for play.
Final Resources and Notes
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After talking about the different early childhood and elementary learning philosophies in class, it's important to relate that information to your every day life. You may love a specific philosophy, but it might not be practical to send your child to a school operating under that framework. So how can we incorporate the various approaches into our homes? into our parenting? Here are some ideas to prompt conversation or thought regarding a Montessori family. MontessoriMontessori's philosophy treats children as individuals capable of their own learning. This is called "child-directed." Montessori classrooms have materials at child-level (not inaccessible or off-limits), has many task-oriented objects, and opportunities to practice everyday life skills. Creating a child-friendly space means you have an area in the home (a spot in the family room, a playroom, the basement, etc.) that your child can explore freely. I recommend bolting any furniture to the wall, potentially enclosing the space, covering outlets, and removing small pieces for children under 3 (or prone to orally exploring objects). In this space, your child can enjoy the materials without your consistent presence or direction. In this space, you can organize the toys so they have a specific spot to go back to. Consider using pictures to help kids see where each item belongs. The materials you can provide are primarily close-ended. Close-ended toys are ones that have a specific way to engage with them. This includes puzzles, shape sorters, or books. In order to encourage concentration, plan to give your children uninterrupted play time in their space for at least an hour and a half. It can take an hour for kids to even get into their play (or "work"). Finally, Montessori treats children with respect and as capable beings. In the home, this means providing opportunities for your children to practice independence and autonomy. This could mean cleaning their playroom with picking up toys and sweeping, washing their own hands, washing their own dishes, placing food low on the refrigerator shelf so they can get their own snacks, taking out the garbage, zipping their own jackets, putting on their own shoes, providing them with their own table and chairs to eat at (instead of a highchair), etc.
You do not have to send your child to a Montessori school in order to achieve the benefits of a Montessori education. To learn more about Montessori at home, check out these books and sites:
Please note that this post contains affiliate links and any sales made through such links will reward me a small commission - at no cost for you. For more information, click here. Temperament OverviewWhen learning about a person's temperament, we focus on 9 areas: 1. Activity Level 2. Persistence 3. Biological rhythm 4. Sensitivity 5. Intensity 6. Adaptability 7. Distractibility 8. Mood 9. First Reaction For more information on the temperamental traits, check out this site. Remember that many people fall on a scale or spectrum. While one characteristic might jump out at you, another might seem less applicable or neutral - that's OK! We don't live in extremes. Goodness of FitI encourage the conversation on temperament to extend further than simply marking you and your child on a spectrum. It's important to consider the relationship between the variety of temperaments in your home - how do they interact together? How do they influence your parenting? Goodness of fit refers to how well the people and environment surrounding you supports (or suppresses) temperament. "Any trait in and of itself is not a problem; rather, it is the interaction that determines the “acceptability” of that trait." 1 Homework1. Have a conversation with your parents about your temperament. How do they remember you as a child with any of these given traits? How does that compare to how you see yourself? If there is a difference, do you think your environment altered the expression of your traits?
2. Have a conversation with your partner about their temperament. Talk about how that might influence the parenting that goes on. For example, if you are someone that is highly active but your child seems to prefer sedentary activities, do you keep signing your kid up for sports? If so, how does your child respond to that? More information on Dina Rose:
More information on Ellyn Satter:
Today we spent most of our time talking with the Richfield Superintendent, Steve Unowsky. He shared information regarding the Richfield Public School opportunities as well as general information regarding school choice.
Richfield has four public elementary schools: 1) Sheridan Hills (busing west side of Nicollet) is a community school meaning there is more focus on family engagement through after school activities such as movie nights or family fun nights. This school has 524 kids, 66% students of color, and runs from 8:10am-2:40pm 2) Centennial (busing east side of Nicollet) is also a community school. The school enrolls 492 kids, nearly 90% students of color, and also runs from 8:10am-2:40pm 3) RDLS (busing across the district) is a magnet school, which means there is a focus point on dual language. Dual language differs from language immersion in that it is for both English and Spanish speaking students to gain fluency in both English and Spanish. RDLS has 427 kids, 77% students of color, and runs from 7:40am-2:10pm 4) STEM (busing across the district) is also a magnet school with a primary focus on Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math. This school has the highest enrolled student body of 785 students, is 61% students of color, and runs from 7:40am-2:10pm. Richfield offers full and half day preschool in each of the aforementioned buildings and in the Central building. The Central building also houses the only 3 year old preschool option. Applications for 3 and 4 year old preschool through Richfield Public Schools open in January for enrollment in the following September. Children must be 3 (for 3s PreK) or 4 (for 4s PreK) before September 1st to be admitted. More information can be found here. Dr. Unowsky also talked about the importance of touring these schools and any other schools you might be interested in. When you tour, he suggested you bring your child along so you can get a feel for how your child responds to the environment. While it is ultimately you and your co-parenting team's decision where you send your child, it can be helpful to read your child's reaction as well. Before going on the tour, think about the things that matter most to you. What do you value? What values are you hoping to impart on your child? Be sure to take note if the tour guide brings up those values and be sure to ask. For example, Richfield Public Schools highly values diversity. In the schools and on the tours, you will see a very diverse student body and teaching staff. You will see cultural exploration activities. You will meet teachers who were specifically hired for their dedication to working with students of various backgrounds. Other ideas for questions to ask include: -before and after school care/programming -transportation options -teacher turn over (how long have teachers been in their position) -social emotional education and bullying practices -disciplinary practices -enrichment opportunities -lunch options and payment -how often are kids outside -What is the communication between the school and family like -how often is there homework It might seem premature to be thinking about kindergartens now, but it comes faster than you would expect! It will make for a less stressful experience if you schedule some tours in the next year and begin having those conversations. Thank you for being part of such a dynamic conversation with our Superintendent! |
Emily BarstadParent Educator Archives
January 2020
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