According to Ruth Anne Hammond, sensitive observation is "a way to understand what [children] are experiencing." Often, as parents, we make assumptions about what our children are thinking, feeling, or cuing when, in reality, we misread the situation or make an interpretation based on our experiences or hunches.
a brief historyThis type of observation came from the work of Emmi Pikler, a Hungarian pediatrician, who began an orphanage in Budapest, Hungary called Lóczy. According to Lilith Magazine, "A 1968 World Health Organization study found that children reared at Lóczy turned into well adjusted adults - a stunning outcome for children raised in orphanages." Based off countless scientific research, data, and success stories, this model of care began to spread worldwide. It spurred the work of various protege's like Madga Gerber, Janet Lansbury, and Ruth Anne Hammond. Additionally, it has been well accepted as a standard treatment of care in day care centers, parent education, and parenting practices across the globe. benefitsAccording to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (1998), there are numerous benefits to sensitive observation including:
what observation is and is notIn order to better understand your role as an observer, it is helpful to know what observation is and what it is not. Observation is...
beginningWhen you choose a moment to actively observe, take note of a few things:
In order to streamline your thoughts and stay within the bounds of sensitive observation, draw a line down the middle of your paper. On the left side, write OBSERVATION and on the left write WONDERINGS. Observation Your observations should be only what you see or hear in their exact form.
Wonderings Your wonderings are how you are staying engaged with the observation. This is the place where you can later, in reflection, match what you were considering with what you were noticing happen.
final notesRemember that sensitive observation is a way to foster your attachment so it should be done in a safe, meaningful way. If your child clearly needs you to attend, it is important you attend to them. This is simply a way that you can progress your parenting philosophy while deepening the connection between you and your child. It should be done at a time that feels appropriate and respectable to all people.
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In the previous weeks, we've talked about simplifying parenthood through simplifying the home and our mindset. With the message of simplification in mind, we embarked on a discussion this week about disciplining. We began by defining the purpose of discipline. Why do we do this in the first place? We discipline in order to teach our kids how to be functional members of society.Because I love reframing concepts through intentional language choice, I have created my pyramid of responding: If we aim to teach children, we are cognizant of the learning process. Parents who views themselves as educators will recognize that different moments, actions, and children call for different responses. Your model for teaching will evolve as you and your child evolve. Through that lens, we classified children's behavior and choices into 3 categories:
Yikes!This is the big category. Some behaviors that fell into this grouping were:
It's an Issue..."It's an Issue" things do not typically involve someone's safety whereas many of the 'yikes' actions do. These are often choices that parents feel are disrespectful or inappropriate. Some actions were:
Minor AnnoyanceMinor annoyances we could also call kids being kids. These are things that children do simply because they are children. They may certainly annoy us. They may certainly be inconvenient or, truly, childish. They may also infringe on the "it's an issue" category. However, they usually boil down to children living their childhood to the fullest. Some choices and actions in this category were:
Take AwaysOne of the hardest things to do is to separate yourself from your child. Sometimes, their choices or emotions create a reaction in us. That's OK. That is normal.But, as it so happens, I am in the business of believing people are capable of growth and change. We go through experiences with our families, friends, peers, and children. Then we learn. Then we reflect. Then we try again. We expect the same thing for our kids. Everyone (including our children) has bad days, sick days, tired days, clumsy days, great days, accomplishments, mistakes, set backs, and so on. Those are what make life exciting. So take a deep breath. You got this :) This week...You will inevitably come across teachable moments. So ask yourself before you react:
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Emily BarstadParent Educator Archives
January 2020
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