In the previous weeks, we've talked about simplifying parenthood through simplifying the home and our mindset. With the message of simplification in mind, we embarked on a discussion this week about disciplining. We began by defining the purpose of discipline. Why do we do this in the first place? We discipline in order to teach our kids how to be functional members of society.Because I love reframing concepts through intentional language choice, I have created my pyramid of responding: If we aim to teach children, we are cognizant of the learning process. Parents who views themselves as educators will recognize that different moments, actions, and children call for different responses. Your model for teaching will evolve as you and your child evolve. Through that lens, we classified children's behavior and choices into 3 categories:
Yikes!This is the big category. Some behaviors that fell into this grouping were:
It's an Issue..."It's an Issue" things do not typically involve someone's safety whereas many of the 'yikes' actions do. These are often choices that parents feel are disrespectful or inappropriate. Some actions were:
Minor AnnoyanceMinor annoyances we could also call kids being kids. These are things that children do simply because they are children. They may certainly annoy us. They may certainly be inconvenient or, truly, childish. They may also infringe on the "it's an issue" category. However, they usually boil down to children living their childhood to the fullest. Some choices and actions in this category were:
Take AwaysOne of the hardest things to do is to separate yourself from your child. Sometimes, their choices or emotions create a reaction in us. That's OK. That is normal.But, as it so happens, I am in the business of believing people are capable of growth and change. We go through experiences with our families, friends, peers, and children. Then we learn. Then we reflect. Then we try again. We expect the same thing for our kids. Everyone (including our children) has bad days, sick days, tired days, clumsy days, great days, accomplishments, mistakes, set backs, and so on. Those are what make life exciting. So take a deep breath. You got this :) This week...You will inevitably come across teachable moments. So ask yourself before you react:
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Emily BarstadParent Educator Archives
January 2020
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