In our last class, we looked forward into our kid's lives and discussed upcoming growth. Discussion QuotesCh. 28 Adapting to New Development p. 123
Class DiscussionsDuring our discussion, we had a great dialogue about balancing the mental load of parenting and about sleep. Here are a couple resources and thoughts to expand on those ideas. The Mental LoadThe mental load is the weight that American parents, typically mothers, feel when it comes to raising kids and balancing every day life. We are expected to manage a lot: perfect children, an insta-worthy home, a job, a social life, and a romantic life. The transition to having kids throws us for a loop. It's extremely hard to find the right balance. The best parents are not the ones who sacrifice the most for their kids. The best parents are the ones who seek the balance. Sure we love our children and we are in awe of their uniqueness, but they are only one part of our picture. It is not your job to get your kids into IVY league school. That is their job. So trust them to do their work so you can do your own. It's OK to say "I'll be there in a couple minutes after I finish this" to a crying baby. It's OK to get a babysitter so you can leave, do work, meet with friends, or go on a date. It's hard at first, but it is necessary to finding balance. This balance is what will make you shine as a parent and, most importantly, as a person. SleepSpeaking of shine, we can hardly function let a lone sparkle if we're exhausted. Yet we are bombarded with the "right" and "wrong" ways to handle a the sleep situation. Here are a couple resources for you to check out to help you on your path:
Our job is to listen to them but not assume anything. If you simply wait a few minutes before tending, you can start to observe the differences in their needs. Perhaps you'll see that they cry for 5 minutes then go back to bed - they just needing to readjust. Or, perhaps you'll see the crying escalating and you'll know they need some attention like patting or shushing. I hope this information was helpful for you in starting to navigate some of the intricacies we discussed in class.
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In addition to the information we read in Magda Gerber's book, we discussed a few tenants for appropriate discipline. Disciplining by Ageconnect & redirect Strategy: When baby goes toward something unsafe or not for them, you gently connect with your baby "Outlets are unsafe for you" and you redirect "your toys are over here" Another example: If baby bites while nursing, you make eye contact and say "ow! that hurts me. I am going to break the latch and we can try again" Age: birth onwards Resource:
Natural Consequences Strategy: Natural consequences teach children by result of the normal way of things. When it is safe, you do not intervene and allow the world to teach your child. Example: If your child protest about wearing a coat to go outside so she doesn't wear a coat outside. The world shows her it's cold. You can perhaps bring a coat. Age: 1 or 2 onward Resource: Natural & Logical consequences UMN Logical Consequences Strategy: The parent or caregiver intervenes with a consequence that makes sense given the action. You might use this when the natural consequence is inappropriate, unsafe, or not effective. Example: You ask child to clean up toys. Child doesn't clean up toys. You put the toys away in storage noting that they are showing you they can't take care of their belongings. Another example: Your child hits another kid at school; you have the child write an apology letter to the other kid. Age: 1 or 2 onward Privilege Removal Strategy: You remove their ability to engage with something they like as a result of their behavior.
Example: If you don't clean up your room, you will lose screen time privileges today. Ages: 4+ Ch. 24 Discipline: Clarifying the Goal
Ch. 25 "House Rules"
Ch. 26 Praise or Acknowledgment
Ch. 15 Learning to ObserveDiscussion Quotes:
Ch. 16 ...and WAIT!Discussion Quotes:
Ch.22 Choosing Play Objects
Ch. 23 Outdoor Living
Resources
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Emily BarstadParent Educator Archives
March 2020
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